Hold Music for a Hold That Was Never Placed

Composed, allegedly, for a switchboard that open space has not got around to building.

Forty-one minutes, in seven identical-sounding movements, each one a little more sure of itself. The instruction on the sleeve reads: PLAY TO ANYONE WHO IS WAITING. DO NOT PLAY TO ANYONE WHO HAS FINISHED WAITING.

Desk 4 used it for two cycles. Complaints about the queue dropped to zero. So did complaints about everything else. So did the queue. When the Bureau removed the recording, eleven people were discovered still standing in the corridor, entirely content, unwilling to state their business.

Intake notes

At minute 29 the music briefly resolves. Staff describe the sensation as “being told your paperwork is fine, by something that has not read it.”

Handling

Cleared for public terminals. Not cleared for corridors. Never cleared for Corridor 7.