Broadcast to the Department of Slightly Wrong Weather

An eighteen-minute forecast, delivered in the flat and forgiving voice of someone who has never once been wrong out loud.

Tomorrow, out there: low cloud with a strong chance of being remembered. The following day: bright, with intervals of having-been-here-before. By the weekend: unbearable clarity, easing after dark.

The Bureau’s Department of Slightly Wrong Weather has no staff, no budget, and an excellent record. It has predicted eleven conditions. Nine of them have since begun to occur here, which the Department considers a filing error on our part.

Intake notes

The forecast contains one instrument, which the intake clerk has described only as “warm, and roughly the size of a corridor.”

Handling

Suitable for waiting rooms. Advise visitors that the forecast is not for this location, and then decline to say which location it is for.